Monday, November 26, 2012

Review Zingers! Twilight Editition

Apparently Twilight is a muse...

But if you're not a die-hard "Twilight" fan you'll have no clue who's who or who does what. Just know, goth-like vampires are probably bad; hipsters in hoodies are good. Bruce Miller ( - Breaking Dawn- Part 2
ht-Catherine Serio

That it has taken 5 instalments to tell a story that probably warranted 2, at the very most, matters little. Most Twilight tragics would have happily sat through 10 movies to keep the phenomenon going.-Leigh Paatsch
ht-Hanna Netisingha

Heads pop like Champagne corks in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2,” the final chapter in the megamillion-dollar series about love, war and franchise immortality. And why not? -Dargis
ht- Alondra Garcia

I have now seen something like 10 hours about these vampires as they progress through immortality, and I'd rather see either version of "Nosferatu" that many times.-Roger Ebert
ht-Abby Ripoli

As Aro, the leader of the Volturi, Michael Sheen is a rare delight, smiling malevolently-- and at one point issuing an insane cackle that's worth the price of admission...It ain't much, but it passes for drama--if by 'drama' you mean a climatic showdown between the powerful, berobed Voturi on the one side, and a ragtag band of the 'good' vampires, now in league with Jacob and his pack of giant CGI werewolves, on the other.-Michael O'Sullivan
ht- Austin Kordik

Endless minutes are devoted to colored contact lenses (to mask her red eyes), an arm-wrestling contest with her vampire brother-in-law (Kellan Lutz), and scenes of Edward and Bella running through the picturesque Pacific Northwest woods on her first hunt, which culminates in an al fresco picnic dinner of venison tartare.-Michael O'Sulliva
ht-Sonya Olsen

From the start, the Twilight film series has struggled with the dearth of external conflict presented in its source material. This isn’t a problem for fans of Stephenie Meyer’s bestselling book series, who can recall every thought and emotion behind the many, many protracted stares exchanged between characters, while those not indoctrinated into Meyer’s world are left to wonder why everyone in the film appears to be in constant gastrointestinal distress- The AV Club
ht-Ali Chica

Watching the Cullens pose and smile in their modernist digs, gathered around the piano with frozen aristocratic languor, grows tedious. But, much like the scene of Jacob (Taylor Lautner), the franchise’s favorite pinup, strolling into the story with visibly erect nipples, this family album serves a conspicuous purpose. It quickly becomes evident that Part 2 is primarily an extended final bow — part victory lap, part farewell tour. Drawing out the inevitable gives fans the chance to linger in a world that has become a passionately beloved cult complete with its own conventions, Web sites (and their inverse, hate shrines, dedicated to loathing the series) and academic tomes (“Interdisciplinary Approaches to Twilight: Studies in Fiction, Media and a Contemporary Cultural Experience”). It’s a fan base that has again also proven the might of the female movie audience.- M Dargis
ht- Sean Young

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